So many BAAAAAD puns so little time!

Too funny -

Ewe've been conned ladies

THOUSANDS of rich women were conned by a firm into believing LAMBS were valuable miniature POODLES.

Entire flocks were imported to Japan from the UK and Australia then sold by the internet company as the latest “must have” pet.

The bizarre scam was rumbled when Japanese movie star Maiko Kawakami complained on a talk show that her new poodle refused to bark or eat dog food.

She showed photos of the animal and was devastated when told that it was a lamb.

One couple found out the truth only after a dog beautician told them that she could not trim their poodle’s claws — because they were HOOVES.

This would be really funny if it were actually true! Unfortunately this is another urban legend propagated via email. I can't begin to tell you how many people send me email on a daily basis that are fake news stories. If you receive an email that is bizarre or too good to be true it most likely is.

The best place to verify is at the SNOPES web site. One of the most reliable urban myth busters that I have come across.

Case in point - the sheep story.

Check out the accuracy of that email before you hit the send button and you wont end up spamming your friends.

An "ex-gay" must read!

As Good As You takes satire to a new level!

'Ex-gay' hopes for gay gene; Gay Gene wishes 'ex-gays' would just let him live in peace

Speaking at an event at the University of California, Santa Barbara, "ex-gay" speaker Chad Thompson is quoted as saying:

“I think it would be cool if a gay gene were discovered. Then God would get more glory when it is treated”

Mr. Thompson's logic, of course, comes courtesy of that noted scientific journal:

And of course evidence that God would do as Mr. Thompson says can be found in that popular Biblical passage:

Eugenics, 4:12 For I shall make you one way and then later proclaim, "Just kidding!" and reshape you as a morally chaste heterosexual, for while world creation and controlling mankind are fun and all, my true calling is genetic engineering.

Ex-Straight Therapy

We see over and over again the controversy about ex-gay therapy and those self hating homo's who are conflicted between their faith and their feelings. Take Ted Haggard for instance, married Evangelical pastor getting his groove on with a male prostitute for four years! He gets 'outed' by his boy-toy, goes into three weeks of therapy and comes out cured of all homosexual desires. It's a miracle! Praise Jesus!

So then I come across this article from the NY Times:

Some Tormented by Homosexuality Look to a Controversial Therapy

This is the story of Corey Larsen, who, like many gays and lesbians, is conflicted between the teachings of his conservative religion and the feelings of same sex attraction and feelings of "the love that dare not speak its name".

My favorite quote from the article is this:

“There’s not a debate in the profession on this issue,” said Dr. Jack Drescher, a New York psychiatrist and former chairman of the Committee on Gay, Lesbian and Bisexual Issues of the American Psychiatric Association. “This is like creationism. You create the impression to the public as if there was a debate in the profession, which there is not.”

I think we should start and Ex-Straight program. We could, through rigorous therapy and prayer, change around those harmful opposite sex attractions. After all, what kind of life can a straight person look forward to? It is quite fashionable to be gay these days. In fact, just look at fashion trends alone! The ex-straight movement could push straight men into a healthy lifestyle. Get away from the couch potato, beer belly, hairy back syndrome affecting so many of our straight brothers and get them into the gym, a good pampering manicure, back waxing and get rid of that horrific uni-brow!

Thousands could be saved! Broken relationships ending in messy divorce and thousands of dollars of alimony would be a thing of the ex-straights past. After all, if you can't get married your can't get divorced!

If sexual orientation can be successfully changed by pseudo-therapy and prayer then we should start enrolling straight men and women in the ex-straight movement right away.

In fact, I Google search brings up an Ex-Straight ministry out of Los Angeles that is every bit as credible as Exodus and NARTH and the other so called ex-gay programs.

Ex-Straight Ministries at the Sunset Junction

Four Myths of Heterosexuality
1. Heterosexuals have no choice about their sexual preferences.
In fact, heterosexuality is learned at home, in school, and from the media. And it can be unlearned. In prison and in our program, for example.

2. The Bible does not condemn heterosexuality.
In fact, the Bible is replete with grim moral lessons about incest, rape, betrayal, and even murder committed by heterosexuals to satisfy their lust!

3. Heterosexuals do not want to ruin society.
In fact, all you have to do to know that this is a myth is watch the news, or take a look at the heterosexual media and schools! Moreover, there is an organization that actively enforces a het-only policy and has a nuclear arsenal that.s ready to destroy the world right now.the U.S. armed forces.

4. A practicing heterosexual can be right with God.
In fact, God hates lust and adultery. And if God loves heterosexuals, what’s with original sin?

So all of those straight sinners out there YOU CAN find peace, happiness and eternal love through ex-straight therapy. Sign up today!

Gary made a poop joke!

"Join The Movement" -- Momentum For McCain's Loose Stool

On the bottom of AOL mail screen is an ad for John McCain asking you to "be a part from the start"

"Join the Movement"

It makes me think of some sort of sick & twisted group poop. Do you think increasing Mc Cain's fiber will give him a firmer resolve?

Firmer...hehehe.

In any event, I think it's too late for that. He's already shit all over our shoes, and is eager to join Bush in using the Constitution as his own personal toilet paper.

Gary makes me LOL