From the diary archives - a note on working out

It is a new year and like many people out there I have made a resolution to see my abs one last time before I die. (Abs are those abdominal muscles that everyone has and we could all see if we could only move the layers of fat out of the way.)

I had started a work out regime with the hubby in 2000 (which, I think, is right around the last time I worked out) so I went scavenging around the old computer archives to see what I did and I came across this gem from the diaries when we lived in Connecticut (perhaps some of you out there can relate?):

March 10, 2000

This may, in fact, be the beginnings of my last will and testament.

This week we decided to start a work out program to get nice and fit for summer. We went to a sports store named “Dicks” to pick up a couple of dumbbells that were on sale for $39.95. We shopped around the store for a little while, it was HUGE, they have everything for every kind of sport (most of which I never heard of). Anyhow, $414 dollars later we walk out with our new 300 pound home gym.

Our first workout was hauling the thing up the two flights of stairs to get it into the office where we were going to set it up. The process of hauling one weight at a time up the stairs took nearly an hour, so of course afterwards we had to sit down and eat a bag of Doritos for dinner.

I opened up the box when we finally got it in place and was a little intimidated by the amount of stuff to put together. I had to get a ruler to measure the bolts that were all different sizes. It was such a pain to assemble; right away I stubbed my pinky toe on one of the boxes of weights. This worked out well though because I discovered a new way to stretch my hamstrings while I was running cold water over my bleeding toe in the bathroom sink. So, thanks to my incredible manual dexterity, I spent six hours, went through a box of Band-Aids and ended up with four bruises on my ankles and shins before I got the thing set up.

Once again we apparently cannot judge the size of objects outside of our house relative to the amount of space we have inside our house. (Our first Christmas tree and almost every Christmas tree there after are prime examples!) Since I was wounded in action putting the set together, I let Hubby handle the rearranging and removal of all of the furniture (except one stool and our mini-desk) in order to get the thing to fit. (Good thing we have storage in the basement!)

So on Monday we started our workout, it is a six day plan. The first day is upper body, then a 20 minute jog on the second day, then lower body workout on the third followed by a jog, upper body and then a jog again on the sixth day. I quickly determined that jogging wasn’t for me (thanks again to my manual dexterity) there wasn’t a sidewalk crack or hill that I didn’t stumble over and there wasn’t a low hanging branch that didn’t whip me in the face or scratch my forehead! So I tried aerobics… whoever came up with the idea of jumping around in your living room should be shot! I soon discovered the pain of a branch whipped face doesn’t last nearly as long as the pain of a rug burn. So it was back to jogging in the hopes that I can get better at it the more I do it. (Only later did I realize how easily I deceive myself)

On the lower body work out day we have to work out our abdominals. The wonderful book that my Hubby got to help us with our exercises suggested sixty inclined sit ups… after 20 I thought I was going to throw up so I gave up and went back to simple crunches.

Each day we have to eat six meals and each meal is a small portion of protein and carbohydrates and then for two meals we have a portion of veggies (yum yum). I don’t mind this part so much except that I am prohibited from eating sugar, milk or cheeseburgers.

On the free day we can eat anything we want so I have planned a nice cup of coffee with cream and sugar, a six pack of Pepsi, six cheeseburgers with bacon, a pizza and anything with a lot of melted squirt cheese like 7-11 nachos or something mmmm mmmm. At the beginning of the program we had to weigh, measure and take pictures of our selves so we can track our progress (and theoretically be pleased with the results at the conclusion of the program).

On Monday, (upper body day) we decided that changing out the weights on the dumbbells was too much of an inconvenience (and far too much work) so on Thursday evening we went and bought some more dumbbells that are solid. We bought two 10 pounds and then two of each in 5 pound increments up to thirty-five pounds. Again it took us at least an hour to make enough trips up the stairs to get them situated in the work out room (I am using this as my work out for the day).

Note about my job: My work is still going well even though I am still a temporary employee I think I would like to go permanent here. My boss is fun even though he takes to congratulating himself quite often on things that he has accomplished. There was a piece of equipment in the back that is supposed to allow people to securely access their email and the system from home. It had never worked properly so he went to work on it and finally got it up and running last week. He was so self congratulatory that I asked him if his back ever hurt from kissing his own ass so much. I think I might be a temp for a while longer.