Gay Divorce - The realities of the right to marry

We may not have the right to marry in Washington State yet but we ARE required to go to divorce court if our relationships dissolve. How backwards is that? We have legal divorce before we have legal marriage? In a sick and twisted sort of way the more divorces we have the more legitimacy it gives to our relationships.

The problem with state sanctioned marriage or civil unions, such as those legalized in Massachusetts, California, and Connecticut, is that there is no Federal recognition of these unions. Without federal recognition of our unions (whether it’s a civil union, civil marriage or whatever you want to call it) we still have no protections for our Social Security benefits, pensions, and income tax benefits.

Gay unions are creating new legal problems in that arena of legal divorce. In California, civil unions are recognized by the state but held to a much lower standard than legal marriage. Nonetheless, gay divorce is handled at the same standard as legal marriage. This creates problems when alimony is paid – from the San Francisco Chronicle

THE BATTLE OVER SAME-SEX MARRIAGE
Divorcing gay couples create new legal issues
Alimony, property questions have even lawyers confused

In California, since January 2000, nearly 39,000 couples have registered with the secretary of state as domestic partnerships, a designation open to gay and lesbian couples and some seniors. For the first few years, domestic partners who wanted to break up filed a simple notice of termination with the secretary of state.

But that changed in January 2005 when AB205, the Registered Domestic Partners Rights and Responsibilities Act, took effect. Most partnerships now have to go through divorce proceedings, just like married couples, with a few exceptions.

Many of the problems arise when ex-partners calculate their federal income taxes. For example, a California judge might order one to regularly pay the other a certain amount of money, like alimony. But, because the federal government does not recognize same-sex couples, the Internal Revenue Code treats that income as a gift and taxes it at a higher level than alimony. And, although alimony payments are deductible for straight ex-spouses, someone who has left a same-sex union can't take that deduction.

More disturbing is this:

California courts have recognized a Canadian marriage and a Vermont union in order to dissolve them.

The issue is that they recognize a union in order to dissolve it but not as a full and legal marriage.

These legal issues are costing hundreds of thousands of dollars for courts to interpret these new laws and are certainly precedent setting. This is the new battleground for gay marriage as the courts continue to address gay divorce in the same fashion they address straight divorce the ultimate conclusion is to address gay unions in the same fashion as straight unions.

Of course the opposition weighs in on gay divorce in an attempt to say – “see we told you the gays aren’t good enough for marriage”.

Same-sex marriage foes say divorces prove their point

"The separation of Julie and Hillary Goodridge is tragic not only for their daughter," the Rev. Lou Sheldon of the Traditional Values Coalition said in a statement released the day after the couple confirmed the separation. "But ... they have clearly shown just how little they value the institution of marriage and provide a chilling look into what our nation faces if homosexual marriage is legalized elsewhere."

Good ol’ Lou – Picks 2 couples out of the 56,000 in MA and CA that have married or civil unioned and ended up in divorce. If the gays valued marriage as much as the straights the number he could throw out would be 28,000 gay divorces, but alas, he can only come up with two. The "chilling look" that Lou is referring to are happily married gay couples who remain married for the rest of their lives while straight marriages still end up in divoce half of the time.

Who values marriage more?


***Crossposted with care at Blogging Spokane